Moving from Canada to Bali - trusting the path
In this blog I’ll cover:
Some of the struggles I went through when deciding if this was the right thing to do
How I found out my purpose
What facing my fears has gifted me
Why Bali?
When am I going? Why am I going now?
How I’m planning it all
Where are you meant to be?
This is by far the hugest life decision I’ve ever made, and scariest thing I’ve decided to face. I used to live a life full of fear, and playing it safe, but in recent years I started doing exactly what I was afraid of.
I started saying yes to my fears…
because I realized they were also coupled to my deepest desires and would unlock SOMETHING I yearned for.
A few of some of those things that PUSHED MY LIMITS were, to get an idea:
Backpacked to Costa Rica & Peru with a partner to Mayan Tuyacu in the Amazon Rainforest to sit with Ayahuasca for 12 days.
Travelled with a girlfriend I barely knew to Hawaii.
Travelled ALONE 😥 to BC to get my Yoga Teacher Certificate.
Drove through Canada & the states alone for 25 hours straight 😅
Ziplined the longest zipline in all of Canada & the USA. (Blackcombs mountains in Whistler, AB)
Heros Dosed Mushrooms, breaking through with DMT.
Going to huge Music Festivals like Envision and Shambala.
Create an event and host/facilitate
Hold a workshop at a festival
I couldn’t do these things alone, I first thought if I were going to any of these things it would need to be on my own (for whatever reason) or a very specific way (hello fear of the unknown)! I began realizing I had opportunities to change my life and live one that was much more passionate and exciting… I had to stop turning them down from overthinking about the timing or my readiness.
FINDING MY TRUE SELF THE HARD WAY
The key to stepping into my dream life was a lot less glamorous than my ego wanted it to be. I had gone through some severe dark nights of the soul, that included suicidal ideologies. Honestly, I always felt like I was living someone else’s life. I controlled my unique expression as much as I could. I was afraid to be alone so I found myself in serious relationships that unfolded way too fast, and hoped that I would find happiness by serving another human…jeez, talk about karma! I started having a spiritual awakening when things got really bad, I needed something to shake me awake from my comfortable safety net of dreamland… I was riddled with anxiety and depression, addicted to many activities, habits, thoughts, feelings, food, etc. I slowly opened up to help, and began to accept my shadows and take responsibility for where I was in life, and truly forgave who had hurt me. I started fresh at my moms, and embarked on my path to devoted self-love.
This dark night of the soul/awakening brought me to ask okay so who the fk am I really? & What do I actually want? Astrology and Numerology showed me that I am not supposed to live a sedentary, boring, “normal” life. I’m supposed to be a guiding light, leader, powerful artist, healer, entrepreneur, and so many more things that at the time was quite unbelievable (logically), BUT something within me FELT SO SEEN AND VALIDATED, like never before.
YOU CAN SAY MY INTUITION LED ME…
Step by step I started making decisions from a more authentic identity. Whatever lit me up, felt like a fuck yes, or made me a little obsessed in a passionate way, I moved in that direction and it was hella challenging, at times I felt completely insane - but that feeling never stuck around for long - it would shift to feeling so ALIVE and on my path / supported by the universe. Synchronicities were (and still are) out of this worllllld. I considered myself very “superstitious” when I was younger - cause I didn’t have the proper vocabulary to know that I was ACTUALLY tuned into seeing the codes & signs of our freaking universe/matrix.
When I began doing the things I desired, I was led to more and more of my souls highest truth for this lifetime as “Zaia”. I ALWAYS hated winter, and loved summer. I didn’t feel worthy enough to ask for what I wanted before, but the more I asked myself what I LOVED, and sought out those things, the happier I became of course - EVEN if it meant my partner wasn’t 100% vibing, or that others judged me. So, I sort of became obsessed with self realization and discovery, and shifted my focus from putting all my energy into my toxic relationships, and diverted it to my own healing. I learned:
My life path number is 5 = expansion, growth, curiosity, chaos, exploration…
My North Node is Sagittarius = seeker, learner, explorer, need for truth, expansion, wisdom, travel…
Human Design Profile 3/6 - Martyr/Role Model = trial and error, learn truth from life experience then embody…
WHY BALI?
IT RESONATES!!!! The Nature, Spirituality, Architecture, Vibe, the way people talk about it…& YES I will admit if I am completely wrong when I get out there hahaha!
Not by default, but by divine guidance
Only BECAUSE I said yes to travelling elsewhere (Costa Rica, British Columbia, Peru, Hawaii, Mexico and Dominican Republic) - I was able to learn what I truly do not want and truly do want. My hometown in the Prairies of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada isn’t my SOULS home…& I was beginning to feel desperate… I didn’t want to stay another winter in minus 40 weather… every year I felt like I was getting MORE and MORE depressed. Hawaii was the closest thing to what I had been dreaming about. It touched my heart so profoundly that I was starting to be convinced that it MAY be the place for me - nothing else compared to it’s energy - yet it didn’t feel right either.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer SIZE of Earth, and all of the options. So I wasn’t actively researching ALLL the potential places I could go. I heard about a lot of people travelling to Thailand and surrounding areas for full moon parties, and other reasons - but I didn’t REALLY look into it…
WHERE ARE YOU MEANT TO BE?
Truthfully, I believe wherever you are meant to be RIGHT NOW, is where you are RIGHT NOW, and if you are MEANT to go somewhere else, and live somewhere else, trust that it will unfold accordingly. You have to not be in resistance to what is, and not listen to the nay-sayers.
What’s hilarious, is that when I sit down to meditate and visualize my ideal life, surroundings, environment, it literally has always looked exactly like Bali!!!! I thought WTF UNIVERSE, WHY DIDN’T YOU SHOW ME SOONER!!?? and wondered WHY didn’t I look into it? Now I believe that if I found it sooner, I would have travelled there and maybe not came back, and my life would be very different… Better? No, because everything that has happened to me is PERFECT. Blood sweat tears and years… I also believe I was meant to go to all those other places FIRST and experience life EXACTLY as I did.
It was 2017 when I TRULY became aware of Bali. The story goes, I was in a extremely toxic “twin flame” relationship at the time. We both wanted to move, but were broke and were suffering from a very unconscious poverty mentality. Actively learning about spirituality and doing our best to manifest a new life - but… without honest shadow work. We were actively learning how to MANIFEST THE LOTTERY LMAO YES ITS TRUE, I SOMETIMES LIKE THE EXTREME. We we’re stuck in a fragmented inner world though - dealing with lack consciousness, yet knowing on the deepest level we are abundant af beings capable of anything… So, we researched “Cheapest tropical places to live in the world”, “Spiritual hubs in the world” etc. We found Bali on some Blog, and when I scrolled through Google images… something in me EXPLODED WITH LOVE and RESONANCE. Hence, my crazy belief coupled with scarcity actually guided me right where I needed to be guided. Eyes locked on the screen, blood rushing through my veins, I felt that time had frozen. I went to Google Maps street view mode, full screened it, and imagined walking the streets of Bali… took screenshots of my favourite places. and used them in my visualization manifestations, then printed off a clipping for my first vision board ever.
(PS I'M JUST REMEMBERING THIS AS I’M TYPING! WOW!)
So basically, this vision of being in Bali inspired me SO much to FINALLY make my own manifestation vision board, even though I had it on my to-do list for 2 years!
From then until now, a ridiculous amount of confirmation that I should go there has come up. Friends moving there and living my “dream life”. Friends landing in Bali and telling me they thought right away “Wow, Zaia needs to be here”. Finding out that so many people I admire live in Bali, or have in the past. It’s everything I have envisioned. Especially the unique architecture - nothing else speaks to me like it does out there. Since it’s also so affordable to live there, I would be able to live in paradise happily, abundantly, without the stress of crazy bills.
I have been waiting for some sort of HUGE sign to decide how and when to go out there. I knew I wanted to be a Yoga Teacher, so I booked a YTT in Bali for November 2020, but they closed their borders to foreigners and I read into that too much as a sign I shoudn’t go hahah! I got my flight cancelled, and did a YTT in BC, Canada instead. Whenever I met new people, I would find myself saying, “I’m moving to Bali soon!” and everyone would say “Yeah, that will be perfect for you” “You suit that well” “You’ll LOVE it”. I didn’t even know why I was saying it but I would get this weird feeling in my gut when people would ask me where I lived. As if I wasn’t living the life I was supposed to be. It felt the SAME exact way when people used to ask me “Whats your name?” Before I legally changed my name to Zaia. It didn’t feel right at all.
CAN’T YOU WAIT? YOU’RE MOVING DURING A PANDEMIC?
If you’ve read up until here, I’m sure you can see that this has been “eating away at me” for a long time, and the longer I wait for the non existent perfect conditions to happen, the more I feel miserable, and am not serving ANYONE in my highest alignment. So this is for you 😘
We all deserve to live the exact life we desire most! We look outside of us for inspiration and reminders, but the truth is always within us. If we calm our mind, meditate on our heart/soul, ask our guides, get psychic readings, look into our dharmic purpose based on astrology, or other personality tests, we will discover that we are destined for a unique expression that will be birthed from some sort of pain, trauma, or lessons.
Pandemic or not, I know I am NOT reaching the levels necessary to really be of service to the planet and humanity, where I am, & who I am here. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I know I’ll find exactly and more than I am looking for.
PLANNING & EXECUTION
I know I’m supposed to be an entrepreneur, always have, but would get hung up on the HOW TF DO I EVEN THOUGH…
As soon as I DEVOTED myself to the vision that I was going, and told my parents about my travel desires, things started to open up and flow. All of my fears are being eradicated the more I talk to people living there, or that have been there. Really, one thing just leads me to the next! Asking for help is so important! There are a lot of things trying to convince me this isn’t possible right now lemme say that much!!!
The more I wrote about this vision, visualized it, started talking about it and took the steps to make this a reality, the more excitement AND fear I have felt. Fear is totally fine, it means you’re about to do something new.
TO-DO lists = my saviour
- Downsize my belongings
- Make a necessities pack list
- Compare income/bills from here to there and budget ahead of time
- Envision what life will be like out there realistically, AND magically
- Research EVERYTHING about moving and living there
- Join Facebook groups and connect with community there before hand
- Pick a date time frame
- Watch plane tickets closely
- Stay up to date with the current restrictions on airlines and Canadian/Indonesian Governments…
- Shift to the identity that I already live out there
- Tie up loose ends in my home town
- Get packin’
- Continually set new, updated intentions
I almost settled with moving elsewhere MULTIPLE TIMES, but I felt eventually I would end up in Bali… So I’m following my heart. & No I am not facing resistance haha, I could list 100 reasons why I “shouldn’t go”… But when you hear my energy speak on why I must go - it transcends physical limits.
Where theres a will theres a way.
When it’s your destiny, you’ll make it there. I used to be hung up on time, especially wasting it. But there is only the eternal NOW. I hope you can tune into the abundant present moment and gain access to your highest self, highest calling, and follow your hearts desire. My willingness to grow and gracefully dance through obstacles is what provides me TRUE happiness.
Right now, the travel restrictions keep changing, weekly… & the fear programming tells us to stay at home, and not live our life the way we want to because thats selfish, but when staying at home makes you feel like you’re dying, and you’re not contributing to the planet at all… how is that helping? Some of us are meant to be on the battle field, you feel me? I’ve talked to so many people at this point, some who just arrived in Bali, who live there right now with different VISAs, and others who had to quarantine and get a negative PCR test. Call me a wack job, it won’t bother me, I know I am protected, because when you do things from your soul, and always give thanks for this life, pain and all, you get 10x back from the universe. When I actually began believing this, wild proof showed up, and hasn’t stopped yet.
I truly feel FREE, and I haven’t even booked my flight yet.
This is the power of belief and faith. I know what’s meant for me is inseparable from me and is materializing the more I stop obsessing about the HOW and instead feel enthralled by the WHY.
Thanks SOUL MUCH for reading!!!
I am truly grateful for everyone on my path and for all of the energy shared to help me get tp where I am today. I feel like this is one of the biggest pivotal times of my life and I hope this inspired something within you. Can’t wait to see where life takes me!
PS. If you are struggling to discover your truest, highest life path and purpose, I believe and know that Shadow Work will free you. Our purpose isn’t something we find, it’s within us, but there are stories, beliefs and attachments in our unconscious minds that block us from realizing it.
Shadow work guides us directly into our deepest powers
Currently offering 1:1 sessions and would love to help you. Reach out today!
