The #1 BIGGEST reason you’re unhappy + shadow work exersize
I know how fast you want to find out the answer so ill give you a hint - it’s you. It’s kinda your fault - YET it’s NOT your fault. Let’s sort this out… 😝
Most people are quite literally dying to discover and integrate the wisdom I’ll be sharing with you. Unless of course you’re already happy with your life - but if that were the case - admit it - you wouldn’t be here reading this right now…
Either way, no matter how conscious or happy you are, our lives can always improve. Change is inevitable.
I am not just being dramatic when I say our happiness is directly linked to our health, people actually die from a “broken heart”!!!
How or why could this happen?
ATTACHMENT & CONTROL.
Let’s break this down so it’s practical - we are living in a flesh suit in a linear dimension of time after all.
You may more easily admittedly recognize feeling:
unsupported / undervalued
used / manipulated
lack / hopelessness
depressed / anxious
angry / sad
Rather than saying: ”Yes! My unhappiness is due to my attachments and control!”
All of which are actually fear - intellectualized, and un-dealt with. Aha! We’ve caught our over active mind at work! The truth is, there is infinite ways to tell a story of an experience, whichever one you choose, defines you, and what you manifest.
The story you choose to tell can empower you or disempower you.
YOU ARE THE AUTHORITY OF YOUR LIFE
The #1 reason you are unhappy is because you’ve chosen to be.
BUT - It likely wasn’t a conscious decision! We learn how to make sense of our lives based on how we saw our caregivers make sense of THEIR lives / whatever perceptions they implanted into our spongey young brains! Before you get mad at your mom for those worry-wart programs she handed down to you - remember - she was also programmed when she was young and vulnerable to influence. We don’t pop out of the womb with all the wisdom needed to thrive, let alone survive… we NEED to have a co-dependant relationship with a caregiver like a mother to keep us alive when we’re a little blob, and show us how to then stay alive without them when we leave “the nest”. Compassion is key here before you let the ego run wild! We do this inner work not just for ourselves but for everyone before and after us.
So, when we find ourselves, suffering to some degree, chasing the highs, and pushing away the unpleasant parts of life, in that moment,
do you choose to believe life is against you, or do you have the awareness that life is a mirror, and that everything thats happening is for your souls evolution?
I wish I could tell you it’s as miraculously simple to just stop choosing unhappiness. We can decide that right now, and it may last for a minute, hour, or maaaaybe a full day… but soon, our predominant programs will come back online.
As long as you live, you will be continually re-programming yourself, even if you decide to move into a dark cave or mountain top, it’s an inseparable experience from life. It’s imperative to know that you’re either consciously reprogramming yourself of unconsciously driving in the same programs deeper. So buckle up for the ride, lets learn to ride this endless rollercoaster with joyful intention!
Once you learn these codes and taste whats possible when you decide to hop off of autopilot of the matrix-ego-monkey mind and onto co-pilot with the universe/your desire/your guides, you will never experience negative patterns the same way.
Your Egos role:
In order to experience ourselves as a unique individual, we create identifications early on in life to distinguish ourselves apart from others. Appearance, how we sound, behave, perform, what we like and dislike, what we’ve experienced, our family history, etc. This is what makes life so colourful, fascinating, fun - our differences, our cultures, ancestry, ideas, fantasies, perceptions. No two humans are the same!
THE EGO MAKES EVERYTHING ABOUT ITSELF.
This is an illusion (or one half to the truth) as we know we are all connected.
The brain will literally find ANY evidence to confirm whatever reality you believe. The ego is an endless story teller. It will tell stories in your favour or not in your favour, depending on whatever story it’s seeking validation of. This is Confirmation Bias. If you were taught life if unfair and you should never have too much because others have less, you will go through life feeling like you don’t deserve to be as abundant as you desire. If you were taught that life is a blessing to be enjoyed no matter what, & you are always supported to reach your wildest dreams by a higher intelligence/power, you will go through life experiencing all sorts of magic and abundance.
BONUS: Shadow work Exercise
STEP ONE: AWARENESS
Answer these questions in your journal with complete honesty
PAST
How was my life hard as a kid? What did I learn that made me shrink/close off? What are some pivotal things I’ve done that I am not proud of or keep as a secret?
(Read out loud to yourself - take note of how you feel and where you feel it.)
PRESENT:
Who & where am I currently?
(Read out loud to yourself - take note of how you feel, and where you feel it.)
FUTURE:
What do I shamelessly truly desire? What is my wildest, most profound dream life?
(Read out loud to yourself - take note of how you feel, and where you feel it.)
Welcome to shadow work! Bringing the light of your awareness and focus onto something in the dark/unconscious. With the purpose of embracing it into our loving presence, and acceptance by holding space for it to express.
Let this be a “brain dump”! Close your eyes, breathe and let it pour out of you onto the paper (writing is better than typing because it activates the creative right side of the brain).
Once you’re aware of something, you can’t forget it, maybe consciously yes, but your subconscious mind has been imprinted.
STEP TWO: REFRAME
Now, let’s rewire your beliefs and story about the PAST. Ps. Have fun with this.
Go to each point of your answered/ “stories” about your PAST and pretend you are a compleeeetely different human being, with a completely different lens on life.
You’re going to write down the same points you brought up, but with a totally inspirational perspective, as if you are someone who truly ONLY sees the blessings and gifts in those things.
Example: “My life was hard as a kid because I moved schools so often I never made any long term friends, and we were poor and had to live with so many different family members houses” - Reframed perspective: “My life was interesting because I travelled to so many new schools, I learned who I really am early on since my environment was always changing. I grew up appreciating nature since we didn’t have fancy things. We lived with many different people, which showed me how others live their lives and it made me very compassionate and open early on”PRESENT you. Now pretend you are someone else, who doesn’t have a clue what you just wrote down. Imagine and write down all the perceptions of what you have gone through - but in a tone of amazement and inspiration. They would want to even pick your brain about how you’ve become so awesome.
Example: “I am a self development fanatic, who’s deeply sensitive, struggling with finding my purpose, overcoming addictions and .” - Reframed perspective: “Wow! You sound so powerful and aware! You are so determined and you must have gone through some big challenges to be the inspiration you are today!”
STEP THREE: CREATE ANEW
Out of 1 - 10 how Stuck - Open do you feel when you reflect on each entry? Make sure to read them with presence, get expressive and use your body to FEEL into the energy of each answer.
PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE.
PAST REFRAMED, PRESENT VIEWED AS SOMEONE ELSE.
No, I’m not now going to tell you to spiritually bypass and choose to only focus on positive thoughts. Part of LIFE is that we’re meant to experience the full spectrum of emotions. Since we’re connected to an infinite stream of the collective consciousness and that of higher intelligence, our minds are also meant to be aware of all possibilities, “positive” or “negative”.
Write 1 way you can do NOW to embody what you’ve learned.
Write 1 thing you can stop doing NOW and going forward to take action on what you’ve learned?
Overview: What must you do to become happier?
Become aware of the stories you’re telling yourself.
Let go of your attachments to their meanings.
FEEL your FEELINGS. Learn the language of them by setting aside time to listen to your body. Validate them by showing up with presence and patience. Thats when they will open up to speak clearer to you.
Don’t try to force reality to be something other than it is.
Open up! ( MIND AND HEART )
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change.
Program empowering beliefs into yourself.
TRUST AND HONOUR THE PROCESS.
DO SOMETHIN’ ALIGNED ABOUT IT ♥︎
and continually come back to this, because remember, there is no finish line.
1:1 Shadow Work sessions available
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Mirror Mirror,
We are one, together.
Expanding Zaia
